What's Up With Your "Drinking Thinking"

What are our thoughts about alcohol? What are our beliefs about alcohol and where do they come from? Also, what do we want to believe and what do we want to think about alcohol? Here's we'll go through some sample thoughts that you may have about alcohol, and I want you to make a list of your own too. Then, you're going to shift and make the list of thoughts you want to have about alcohol.

I remember for so long I wanted not to want it. I wanted to be in a place where I could decide - and to decide not based on some overwhelming desire that seemed involuntary, but based on my pre-frontal cortex making a decision. I made a list here of some of the thoughts that you may be having that may be triggering your drinking, maybe triggering those urges, and thoughts that increase our desire for alcohol.

Now remember, alcohol is a huge business in our country. There are so many messages you're getting about alcohol and drinking, from the time that you were very young to the time that you're your age now and you may not even realize that they're there. There's also those unconscious thoughts that you're constantly having about alcohol because of the reward centers in your brain. I want you to listen to the ones I'm giving you here and then I want to make sure that you take the time to sit down and pay attention throughout the day and throughout your 100 urges and see if you can find any other thoughts you have.

Thoughts may be as simple as, "I want that," that's one of the most common thoughts that triggers an urge. "Fuck it," may be one, "I don't really care." "Just tonight. I need to relax." "It will relax me." "It tastes good." "It's liquid courage." "It loosens me up." "It's fun, I just want to have a good time." "It makes me happy." "It's no big deal." "It helps me fit in." "It's sophisticated when I'm going out to a fine dining restaurant." "It's no fun if I don't have any, I don't want to be that person." "It's embarrassing not to have it." "People will think I have a problem." "It's normal to be able to drink. The fact that I can't drink normally means there's something wrong with me." "I'll just have one ... How about that one? "It's healthy. Don't you know that red wine is healthy for me?" "It feels good, I like it. I don't want to stand out by saying no." "I just need it today. I've had a rough day, week, year, hour." “It's a celebration, it's somebody's birthday, it's somebody's ... It's New Year's, it's this, it's that.”

What is your reason, what are your thoughts that usually precede drinking? There is this idea that people that are unable to drink without becoming overwhelmed by it or without becoming drunk or without having an involuntary urge that those people are somehow diseased or not normal. I think the opposite is true. I think people that can drink regularly and don't get an overwhelming urge to do it, more and more and more are the exception to the rule. I think most people will end up, at some point, struggling with it if they keep drinking.

Look at your thoughts, evaluate your thoughts, and see which one of those ... If you have some of your own or if you can identify some of the ones that I listed there that you currently have that are leading you to drink. What do you believe about alcohol? What do you believe about it being normal in our society? What do you believe about the actual content of what is in an alcoholic drink and how it serves or doesn't serve you, and how you believe it should be a part or not a part of your life?

Now, here are some thoughts that I have also come up with for you to consider adopting. Now these are for people coming from a place where they don't want to desire it at all so these thoughts may be extreme for you. You don't need to go as extreme as I've offered here, you can absolutely find some middle ground where you're not feeling that constant desire but you still drink sometimes.

You can start with reasons not to drink at all. I will never get a DUI. I will always be 100% sure that I'll be sober if my daughter's in the ER or needs help. I can always drive. I will never black out. My kid will never hear me slur because I've been drinking. I'll sleep well. I'll never experience a hangover. I'll never spin. I'll never stumble because I'm drunk. I'll never drunk text or drunk dial. I'll never fall asleep when my husband's speaking. That's not true... but it won't be because I'm drunk.

I'll never tell a story twice without realizing it. I'll never forget I had a great conversation with someone at a party, then meet them later and introduce myself as if I've never met them before.

I'll never need the excuse I was drinking. I'll never mix alcohol. I'll never be hung over. I won't have to deal with those liquid calories. I'll have no overpriced bottles of wine, no foggy days because of alcohol. I can always read before bed. I have the ability to calculate the tip at the end of the night. I'll never embarrass my husband because I'm drunk. I'll never be belligerent in public or private because I'm drinking. I'll never fall asleep with a glass of wine in my hand. I'll never wonder what happened last night. I'll never worry about parties having alcohol, weddings, dinners or events.

I'll never have red wine mouth, you know what I'm talking about. My kid will never have to smell alcohol on me. No empty bottles or glasses that cause shock or regret. No more Googling how to drink less and how to cut back. I can manage my own negative emotions. I have more money for massages and plane tickets.

I have no dehydration headaches. I can read after dinner. No stupid buzz fights, you know which ones I'm talking about. Never wishing I could throw up. No chance of dying of cirrhosis or an overdose. I have a 30% less risk of breast cancer. No alcohol induced late night snacking. No hangover or sugary breakfasts. Hello Sunday morning. No wine headache or lightheadedness. I can do my toasts with specialty non-alcoholic drinks. I can drink tea and club soda and I can play with fun ice cubes and garnishes.

I'll never have to go to rehab. I'll never have to go to an AA meeting. I'll never have a drunk mugshot. I can make conscious food choices. I'll be sober at the end of the night. I'll be never guessing if I'm sober enough to drive. I'll never had any chatter about whether I should drink or not or if I should stop or night. I have no mind chatter for alcohol in making those decisions. I'll set a great example for my kid. I won't have blurred vision. I can handle emergencies. I'll be available and present.

I'll be present with myself in the truth, meaning I won't drink to cover up my emotional truth. I'll never have withdrawal. My drinks will always be free on airplanes. I'll never have regrets over drinking, no decisions or drinking, and I'll never be an alcoholic.

Those are kind of the thoughts that I came up with, and you may come up with different thoughts of why you want to cut back. What are your reasons? What are the thoughts you have? What do you want to believe about alcohol?

I like to believe, and this really serves me, that alcohol is a man made substance that our bodies are not built to accommodate. It creates an increased desire. It makes us want it too much. I say, "Be careful if you try a drug because most drugs are awesome." Once you try it, your brain will want that drug and then what? Then you really love it, then what are you going to do? You really love alcohol, then what are you going to do? Then it perpetuates that desire and then you have that struggle with it.

The way I like to think about it is the way that it's designed is to give me more pleasure than the human brain should be getting from a substance. That's why my brain starts to think that it's more important than anything else because we are driven towards pleasure. Think for yourself.

What do you currently believe about alcohol? Is it triggering you to drink? What do you want to believe about alcohol and will that help you not drink? Pay attention to your brain. Notice your thoughts on both sides of the equation. Notice which ones are serving you and which ones aren't. Our human ability, one of the most amazing abilities we have, is to think about what we think about. Be the watcher. Watch yourself think and see what you can find out. There's a workshop of this video, make sure you print it out and write down your thoughts.