Compassion, Self Love + Authenticity

We become what we believe. 

So, if you're telling yourself you're a worthless, helpless, no-good nothing and you're imagining you'll fail at everything, here's what will happen: You'll believe it, act as if it's the truth and get results that confirm your belief.

As you've learned, a way to change a belief is so counter it with the opposite. This audio in particular might be one you'll want to listen to again and again. This is something seemingly silly, but profound.

Click here to listen to this short audio lesson

Note: YOU WILL NEED A MIRROR for the activity

How did you feel as you said, "I love you, " to yourself in the mirror? I know the first time I did it I felt sooooo weird! Then I cried...

Let us know how it impacted you in the Facebook group.

Love,

Ana

I have been in some pretty amazing relationships. Let me tell you - the good ones? Totally magical. Precious. Without a doubt, worth working on + cultivating. Appreciating and celebrating them flows easily.

The most important relationship we can have is with ourselves, yet we tend to not offer these same things to US!

Our relationship with ourselves absolutely is worth the work, the cultivating.

Why? Because YOU are Magical. Precious. A Creature Unlike No Other. Absolutely worth the work, cultivation, and gratitude.

Sometimes we feel we are not deserving of true love because think we aren't "enough" of something. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not wealthy enough.

Here's the TRUTH: You, simply by being YOU, are worthy of true love. Source did not make extras. You are here for a reason. To BE YOU.

That's all you need to do. Ahhhhh

This can be hard to remember when we are in relationship with others, especially intimate relationships. As women, we tend to think about "the other" way more than ourselves. And when in love, we tend to give the others' needs priority. And let's be honest - most people are totally OK with that because they like having their needs prioritized.

If someone in your life is taking you for granted, you may need to examine that relationship - or your role in not making your needs known . This is the classic example when we really really want people to read our minds - but they can't .

What do you need to feel adored? To feel supported and nurtured?

Make it known.

Yes, this may disappoint someone. But that's not your deal. They'll survive.

Here's a great poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer:

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

By Oriah © Mountain Dreaming, from the book The Invitation published by HarperONE, San Francisco, 1999 All rights reserved

Do these things for yourself first.

Where could you speak up more in your love life or another important relationship? If you weren't afraid of disappointing someone, or of being rejected, what would you say? Let us know in the FB group <3

Love,

Ana

I've always told myself that as long as I learned from an experience, I need to do my best not to regret it ot feel ashamed, no matter what happened. For me, it's a profound self-compassion that I need to dig up in order for it to keep me from shaming myself or feeling regret.

When we are growing, we can often fall into a trap of regretting all the things we did before we learned how to show up more authentically, or with more self love. We remember the dreams we had that didn't work out, how we carelessly hurt people (even if without intent),  and the times we ignored our inner wisdom.

The ensuing guilt and shame can devastate us. They can affect our ability to believe in our Highest Self.

The thing is, we all do the best we can with the information and level of personal growth we have in the moment. By holding on (and beating yourself up) about decisions from the past, you are impeding your ability to move forward.

Owning your choices (regardless of how they turned out) takes balls. We can't take things back; we can only look ahead. Allowing yourself to say, "I did this, I'm sorry about it, I forgive myself and I've learned from it" is the choice you've got now.

Write a letter to yourself. Accept, forgive, and give value to the lessons you learned from something you consider a "wrong choice" or a "bad decision."

For added effect, go to www.FutureMe.org and program this letter to be sent to you, via email, a few weeks (or days, or months) from now. It can be a really useful tool to remember the powerful moments and realizations you have had, and to trigger actions, mindsets and reflections.

There is no need to regret things. Your life is unfolding in front of you and you have the ability to honor your authenticity in every way you can THIS VERY MOMENT.

Self-forgiveness is magical. Check it out;)

If you're comfortable sharing in the group, let us know: what are you forgiving yourself for?

Love,

Ana

When you're taking care of yourself, you are showing yourself love.

When you show yourself love, you are taking care of yourself.

I know this now, but there was a time not all that long ago where self-care was a foreign concept, where it sounded like something cool and fun, but also like something I had no idea how to start.

The thought of creating a practice was too big, because I wasn't sure what it meant, I didn't know how to start.

So, in case you're in the same place I was, here are some ideas to help you start:

What I need to tell you is this: A self-care practice is simply a group of things you do that feel good to you, that recharge your body, heart and soul.

It's something you can lean on when you have a rough day. It's something that, the more you do, the more intuitive it becomes: to comfort yourself, to love yourself, to take care with yourself, to honor yourself.

Your practice can take so many different shapes and forms, and they are all right, they are all perfect.

Here are some jumping off points, some places where you can begin. I have gathered ideas of this from my own practices, as well as from fellow coaches and friends, like Jenn Gibson. 

Ways to Begin Your Self-care Practice

• Take a five-minute break, wherever you are, close the door, close your eyes, breathe deeply and relax. You deserve this.
• Make a mug of tea, treat yourself to your favorite latte or smoothie. Delight your senses with taste and flavors.
• Move your body - dance, go for a walk or run, do yoga or some deep stretching, heck even skip around your house. Twirl, hula hoop, do the running (wo)man, jump up and down like a human pogo stick - whatever feels good to your body in this moment.
• Turn off the computer, unplug for an hour or for a day to see how it feels
• Hug your child or your partner or your best friend or your kitten.
• Say thank you. And say thank you again. Then say it again.
• Breathe deep and smile.
• Go outside and feel the sunshine on your face or let the raindrops kiss your cheeks.
• Explore essential oils - they can be used so many different ways, they've become a fixture in my self-care practice.
• Light your favorite candle or burn a stick of incense - make the space you are in sacred.
• Learn how to create loving boundaries
• Walk around barefoot, completely connect to the ground beneath you.
• On that note, walk around naked on a hot day and dance in the sprinklers!
• Give yourself an at-home spa day: Take a hot shower, shave your legs, paint your toenails, put on a mud mask. If you want to get really crazy, pluck your eyebrows.
• Go to sleep early, let yourself rest. Or, take a catnap - closing your eyes for a half hour can do so much for attitude and outlook.
• Write a letter to yourself and celebrate how much you've done and how far you've come (use www.futureme.org if you'd like!).
• Take yourself out to dinner. Dress up or down.
• Put on your favorite cozy pants and top and spend an evening in watching your fave guilty pleasure TV show.
• Turn your phone on silent, or completely off.
• Meditate. If that's not really your thing, sit quietly and breathe.
• Wake up early and watch the sunrise. Greet the day and set an intention.
• Write in a paper journal, let your mind free-flow and see what comes out and what you let go of.
• Make out with your partner.
• Get creative - paint, take photographs, color.
• Get creative - cook, rearrange furniture, bake.
• Acknowledge how you take care of others, and that it's a beautiful thing to take care of you, too.
• Read a book - whether it's trashy or chick lit or a volume of poetry or fiction.
• Watch the sunset and write down the best part of your day.
• Call your best friend and get some voice time in.
• Praise and praise and praise.
• Name three things that you flat-out love about yourself.
• Own your shit. Few things are as empowering and powerful as being honest and upfront with yourself (and with others).
• Take a mental health day - play hooky, rest, recharge and renew.
• Book a retreat with Freedom Junkie or the Urban Wellness Club
• Remember that where you are, in this moment, is exactly where you are supposed to be.

So...what are your favorite things to do when you need a little comfort? When you need to recharge your batteries, what are your go-to places for renewal and peace? Share with us in the group so we can get some great ideas too!

Love,

Ana

So, it's time to take the leap and go on that Big Date - with YOURSELF! Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, talks about the importance of weekly Artist Dates. These are dates to go on to fill your creative cup. THIS date is for you to fill your cup as well. Fill your self-love cup, your creative cup. When you create the time to do this, you have more juice to give to others, more aliveness in you, more presence with the moment you're in, right here and right now.

Do whatever you like: a nice dinner, a movie, a quiet nite ordering in, a long hike...Whatever you do, remember to make this is a solo journey, OK?

What did you choose to do for your date? Let us know in the FB group;)

Love,

Ana

Celebration and Bringing It All Together

Congratulations! Can you believe it? It has been 49 days of Ziji-ing Up!

How do you feel?

How are you BEING differently?

How has your life changed since we started in our group of badass women, declaring they knew they deserved to live life fully and authentically, with courage and confidence and genuine self-love?

You have taken huge steps over the past 7 weeks towards creating life YOUR way, and towards a life of freedom and creativity: freedom from limiting self-beliefs, freedom from your gremlin(s), freedom from others' "shoulds" and projections, freedom from unnecessary regrets and what-ifs. You have taken risks, allowed yourself to think openly about new ways to view the world, new ways of seeing you and your life and your choices and current situations.

And so cool: You have watched blessings and gifts and dreams manifest through the power of your mind, your intentions, and through consistent action. You have become more clear about how you want your life to be, and as a result, you will have more opportunities to achieve the life of your dreams.

You have met other women who share a common language with you, who also strive for the most fulfilled life, and believe in the ability to manifest and create their desires and ideal life.

You have given yourself permission to ask for what you want, to own your Badass, to love others while also having clear boundaries for yourself. You have given yourself permission to dream of ALL possibilities and to go for it, all the while loving yourself and doing what you need to take care of YOU in this precious life.

You have, in your own way, declared that life is too short, and YOU and your gifts are too precious, to waste another moment of your time or precious energy on living in a way that is not in alignment with what you value, who you are, and what you want your life to be like.

You have learned:

You have learned you can step in anywhere in this path, and change your destiny.

You know how to Ziji Up, and find that radiant inner confidence of knowing what you want, who you are, and how you want your life to be.

Congratulations, and so much love and blessings and gratitude to you. The world is a better place because you have learned more about letting your true light shine. I am honored to have shared this precious time with YOU. Thank you for choosing to spend your time with me. I hope you stay an active member of our tribe - we need more Ziji mentors!

No go out there and Ziji Up! your life...and those of all around you<3 It will truly change the world.

By now you know when you share something with the world, you're more likely to follow through on it. And you have the tools not to do it.

What are at least 3 things you are committing to do DAILY to stay tapped in to the things you've learned in this course? Is it a self love practice of getting into bed by 10pm, waking up with a self-massage, and not answering your phone from 9-12 and 2-5? Is it a daily gratitude and affirmation practice along with 3 minutes of positive visualization to help create a new way of thinking that better serves you? Whatever it is, commit to it in the FB group!

Love,

Ana