Create Intention

We've spent a good chunk of the past couple of weeks getting to know our gremlins in detailed - albeit abstract - ways. It's often helpful to do this so that you can better understand and experience how your inner critic is NOT who you are.

I hope this has helped you take a step back and distance yourself from your gremlin so it is easier to manage. Maybe you've even practiced putting your gremlin into a box, brushing it off your shoulder, telling it to shut up, or even gently thanking it for trying to protect you and reminding it you don't need that anymore

However, ya can't lock yer mama in a box.

What do I mean by saying that? Well, unfortunately, there are real-world gremlins. Many of my clients have sad they come in the form of their mother (or father), a jealous sibling, a critical partner, a toxic friend...you get the point. Usually, the most bothersome real-life gremlins are the ones that we have a harder time controlling our (ahem) "exposure" to, either because of things like social commitments, family traditions or customs, or our inability to yet create healthy boundaries, to name a few.

For the rest of this week, identify your real-life gremlins.

Some people respond well to requests, and if they are responsive, you can remove the likelihood that you get exposed to their "gremlin" voice, and just get to enjoy their other voices!

Other people are harder to do that with, so you need to get even better at managing YOUR inner emotions and thought processes, or find a way to remove yourself from - let's just say it - this person who is unhealthy for you.

Share in the FB group: How can you minimize your real-world gremlins'  impact on you? How can you minimize your exposure to either their gremlin voice or to them in general?

Love,

Ana

Today, practice Rapid-fire Letting Go. Its one of my Jedi mind training tools;) Really focus on quickly letting go of tolerating things that simply don't feel good. It really is reason "enough" to let go of something. Try it. See how it feels!

If you are watching a crappy movie, turn it off or walk out of the theater. Your gremlin may say to put up with it because you paid for it, or because "you should have known better." That's B.S.

If someone is complaining and you are feeling drained, don't go through the "ZUMP" Master pathway of asking them to make a request etc. this time. Just excuse yourself. Your gremlin may say listening to them vent is a form of compassion. NOT! It serves no one to let them complain.

You are practicing quick letting go here.

If someone says something a bit snarky, don't start wondering about "why" or "what else" or "what the hell." Say to yourself, "Whatever," and laugh because you know they escaped your mental wrath because of today's challenge. Lucky them! (but remember...it really is you who escaped it;)

If there is something that needs to be done around the house and it would take 2 minutes or less to do it, stop and do it NOW. Or better yet, hire a housecleaner. Your gremlin may tell you you're too tired and deserve to take a break (again), but it doesn't know how much seeing this drains your energy. If it can't be done quickly, today, just get it out of your sight (leave, cover it up, close the door).

This rapid-fire letting go is an extreme practice that if done every day would lead to you not addressing a lot of stuff. But many of my Ziji Peeps spend too much time perseverating and ruminating and debating what is "OK" to do.

Ya know what? Life is too short to be wasting any more of your precious life energy and time doing things you don't want to be doing. I don't mean in an adolescent self-righteous kind of way, but in a "I have clear boundaries, I know what I want, and I will make sure I am living full on every day."

You can do this without being mean. It doesn't mean people will like it, but you can do this without stepping on someone else's toes, without being rude, and without taking away someone else's right to be happy - even though your gremlin may tell you otherwise.

So just for today, allow yourself to be the sweetest selfish biyatch and quickly let go or walk away from things that aren't nourishing your soul.

Share in the FB group: What is one example of your "quickly letting go" today?

Love,

Ana

PS: for extra credit, delegate tasks you don't like to do. Ask for help from family members, or from friends, or hire someone: a housekeeper like I mentioned above, a virtual assistant, a college-aged personal assistant (I have one and she is only $9 an hour!). It is amazingly freeing. And yes, you deserve it. And yes, you can probably afford it - at least as a treat;)

One of the most important things you can do to honor yourself is to learn how to say, "No." An even better way to say "No" is to not do it in reaction to something. Then people will take your "No" more personally and you'll likely feel more crappy about it. A healthy way to say "No" and not be reactive is to have clear boundaries.

For example:

One of my clients had a sister who would always try to crash at her house when she came into the city (where my client lived) on weekends. While she gladly did this at first, soon it became annoying.

One night, when her sister did the drop by, she was so irritated that she simply said, "I'm sorry. Tonight is not a good time. Is there one of your friends that you could stay with instead?" Her sister was so pissed they didn't talk for two weeks.

This "No" was in reaction to a feeling of annoyance at a surprise visit. Her sister saw it as her not wanting to be with HER that night, and that it was something personal. In the moment, it certainly was personal, and it certainly was a reaction to her sister. But in the end, the resentment had actually built up over time not because of her sister per se, but because of the boundaries being crossed that were not clear to begin with.

My client did some thinking and at one of our coaching session she formulated a script to tell her sister that went something like this: "I actually really love having you at our house. But when it happens last-minute, it causes a lot of stress for us because we have a routine we are used to and surprise things kind of throw us. This is not just for you, but any friends that just drop by. So we're making a rule for guests that for overnight stays, we need to know at least 3 days ahead of time. Is that OK for you?"

Of course, it wasn't totally OK with her sister, but at least she knew what she was playing with. This way, when her sister said no the next time, it was because of a boundary, not because of her sister coming by. It depersonalizes it, AND it helps you let go of guilt and co-dependence and all that icky stuff.

You'll have much more energy once you create clear boundaries, as you'll spend less time explaining and justifying and rationalizing. 

Boundaries kick ass!

Share in the FB group: Write down at least three clear boundaries you'd like to establish. If you are having trouble articulating them, bring them to our call this week.

Love,

Ana

PS: keep on cleansing that body of yours! If you fell off the wagon, get back on. That's how we roll!

Take time today to reflect a bit more on some of the habitual patterns you need to let go of. In fact, take time to deliberately observe what your habitual patterns might be.

Do you frequently run late (which stresses you out or pisses off people you respect or care about)? Do you bite your nails? Do you often say, "Whatever you want to do, honey" when really you want to so NOT do that (then feel resentful)?

When you're tired, do you nag your partner, which leads to a fight, when you know from the beginning that it was something trivial to begin with? Do you react to feedback or criticism defensively?

Well, you're not alone. The first step, as we learned with gremlins, is awareness. Become aware of your patterns. Then try to do things differently next time. It'll stretch a bit, but then you'll have more flexibility in your mind and life.

Whenever an emotion arises, ask yourself, "Is this something I 'do' a lot?" (remember, start to move away from identifying with your emotions aka away from "I am...").

What role does your gremlin have in keeping these patterns up? Your gremlin's job is to maintain the status quo, to keep you from making any big changes or kicking some serious ass.

Can you say, "Damn! I had no idea you were up to that! Sneaky bastard. I'm going to change that right now!" ? Right on! (I thought so;)

Share in the FB group some of your most embarrassing habits. It will at least make us feel better about our own;)

Love,

Ana

Eckhart Tolle believes we create and maintain problems because they serve our ego. They give us a sense of identity. This could totally explain why we often hold onto our pain way beyond its ability to serve us. Crazy!

We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the now. That's right, you're not alone on that one.

We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. We hold stress in our minds and bodies, potentially creating serious health issues, and accept that state of feeling tense and crappy as the norm. Uggh!

Newsflash: There will never be a time when life is simple. I know. Sorry. But 'tis life. Think of all the crap that even a little flower has to deal with every day...insects crawling all over it and cold frosty nights and people stomping on it while they hike. A flower! Not even a human cruising around the world interacting with dozens of other complex humans all day.

But just because life is complex doesn't mean life sucks. It is not being able to let go that plays a huge role in feeling like life sucks.

I was raised Catholic and I remember my mom giving me a kid's Jesus book of sorts where it had a little saying for each letter of the alphabet. My favorite was "L." It said, "See the Lilies how they grow - they do not fret or worry."

While it may have been foreshadowing my tendencies towards anxiety, it was impactful nonetheless. Lilies have it coming from all directions! It's not all sunshine and bee pollination! But they still grow and do their thang. I liked that thought when I was young, even though I didn't totally get it at the time.

There will always be time to practice accepting that it isn't worth waiting for life to get simple. What can get simple is your response to the complexities of life. 

Yes, you can invite effortless and ease into your life. And you can have it! But know that this comes through an ability to also adapt and accept change.

Every moment is a chance to let go and feel more peaceful. Take a look at the lists you created from our training earlier this week. Make sure you are letting go of something each day, and calling in the positive energy you have created the space for.

Share in the FB group: What did you let go of today?

Love,

Ana

Wow, it has been three weeks! You kick ass!

So far we've been through the Ziji Up! System steps of:

1) Clarity
2) Creating Intentions
3) Clearing

During the next couple of weeks, you will be tapping into your intuition and getting more in touch with your Highest Self. You will need to build a trusting and intimate relationships with them. Learning to listen to your intuition and Highest Self will help you make decisions and to build the confidence - and courage - necessary for the next Ziji Up! steps of Choice and Commitment to Action.

Exciting, yes?

Today reflect on:

• What is the most impactful insight you have learned in this course so far?
• What is the most powerful thing you have learned about your gremlin and how to manage it?
• What is the most useful thing you've learned about gaining clarity?
• What have you learned about creating intentions and asking for what you want?
• What is the best part about clearing and letting go?

Share in the FB group:

- What are you most proud of in this course so far?

- What is the coolest thing you have manifested in these last three weeks (a shift in a relationships, a shift in confidence, a job, money, a surprise)?

Love,

Ana